don't you want to see what you're made of?

honestly, i don't expect many people to read this so i'm going to use this blog more as an online journal for myself (seeing as i used to write in a word document for years that i lost when my hard drive crashed booo). Now i've learned my lesson: get a hard drive and back your shit UP!!!

oh, life. sometimes it's hard to explain how it feels to live with depression (and a massive amount of anxiety triggering panic attacks around every corner). i find it frustrating when people don't recognize depression as a serious mental illness and think you can suddenly "snap out of it." if only it were that easy. i've been successfully taking medication and seeking therapy for five years now and I'm slowly learning how to manage my depression and live with it without letting it hold me back. Every now and then, i do have some pretty bad depressive episodes. I've actually just recovered from a pretty bad one the past few days. it's emotionally and mentally draining and even more difficult when you don't feel fully understood. But i've made the decision that no matter how bad my episodes get, how hopeless i feel, i will never ever ever give up. I will never let depression kill me. I will always KEEP GOING...

Here's a poem that I like to read to help me cope with bad episodes.. it's by a badass woman named Dorothy Parker:

Resume

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
And drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live